|
Comments Welcome
Dear Guy Who Owns a Bar in Tampa and wrote
this letter to musicians on Craigslist,
I've been playing music for over 25 years. I've worked in
a lot of different places from absolute ratholes to really
wonderful venues. I've seen all sorts of bad behavior on the
part of musicians, fans, sound guys, bartenders, bouncers,
managers and, yes, even bar owners.
Contrary to what you may believe, I do actually
get that you are in business. I understand that you are eking
out a living running a bar. I know that your job and the jobs
of your bartenders are to sell drinks. I'm pretty sure all
musicians know that.
But since you decided to give musicians advice
on how to improve themselves, I have a few suggestions for
you as well.
Upgrade your crappy sound and light gear...
or buy some if you don't have any.
Nothing is more irritating than showing up at a bar and our
"stage" is a corner where we have to move tables
and set up underneath a flatscreen TV that stays on during
the entire set. No sound gear. No lights. Good luck. Ought
to be loads of fun putting on a show and "entertaining"
people while selling your drinks in a dark ass corner with
no way to control the sound whatsoever.
Don't expect me to be some ham-handed used car salesman up
there to push your watered-down "premium" drinks.
I will gladly tell people to get their drink on, but I'm not
running an infomercial. Demanding that I stand onstage like
David Lee Roth circa 1980 crowing about the magical properties
of whatever high-dollar cocktail you have to offer is only
going to make me less inclined to do it. You paid me to entertain
people, not sell your booze. I know you think it's the same
thing. It isn't.
Acknowledge that the reason those people are in the bar in
the first place is probably to see me play AND drink your
booze.
This is a symbiotic relationship we have here. We need your
venue. Without it, we'd be street buskers. You need our music.
You acknowledge it helps you make more money. But those people
that file in and stay do so because WE are entertaining them.
Your drinks are a means of improving their
enjoyment, but that isn't what brought them in the door and
keeps them there. If it is, you don't need to hire a band,
but since you do, even you can recognize the value. So, don't
start off from the position of pretending you are doing me
some gracious favor by allowing me to set up and play for
YOUR patrons.
If my band sucks, don't
hire us, but don't pretend to be an expert on music.
I once had a guy come up to me in between sets at a happy-hour
acoustic gig and tell me that we should really play "Margaritaville"
because it's "peppy." You stick to drink specials
and promoting your business and let me stick to doing what
I do best.
If you think I suck, you are free to never hire me again (or
not hire me in the first place), but as John Winger told Sgt.
Hulka in Stripes, "If you don't want me in your army,
kick me out, but get off my back."
If you want nothing but covers, hire cover bands.
Few things are more frustrating than a bar owner who hires
you with full knowledge that you are an original (or mostly
original) band and then complains that you aren't cranking
out "Mustang Sally." Do your homework beforehand
and don't blame me if you wanted a live jukebox and got us
instead.
But keep in mind that good cover bands will
want real money, not the paltry wads of cash you shove in
my face at the end of the night (more on that in a minute).
I'm fine with bars only wanting cover bands (though plenty
of good original bands can keep the dance floor packed and
the patrons drinking), but don't start demanding more covers
from me if you knew going in I was bringing original material.
Refer to my last point for more information.
If you don't want it loud, don't hire
a rock band.
I cannot for the life of me figure out why people hire rock
bands and then freak out when the guitars start roaring and
drums start pounding. There can be excess, to be sure, but
the average rock band is simply going to be loud. If they
aren't, it's probably not a rock band.
All musicians understand the need to moderate
the sound level in the room -- some better than others --
and most will oblige if you ask nicely, but if you come to
us bitching about the noise after we've already turned down
once at your urging, you probably just shouldn't have us back...
or any other rock band for that matter.
Pay me better.
Let's get to the crux of it, shall we? When I started playing
in the '80s as a teen, the going rate for a gig was $50-$150
per band member depending on the size of the gig, the venue,
the patrons, etc. Care to take a guess at what it is today?
If you guess $50-$150 per band member, you would understand
my pain. That was 30 years ago, and the pay has not changed.
You expect miracles for pocket change. Don't be surprised
when you get exactly what you pay for.
Failing better pay, don't try to stiff me at 3 a.m.
Years ago, I was doing a gig with a popular local band who
absolutely packed the venue we were in. The deal was we either
got paid $500 or 80 percent of the door, whichever was more.
We easily brought in 200 people at $10 per person, which by
my math is more than $500.
Yet, when our singer went to collect the money,
the bar owner tried to tell us we didn't make more than $500
at the door. After a few verbal threats were exchanged and
the cash register was yanked off the bar, the bar owner wisely
paid us our money. Be smart and, more importantly, don't be
a crook.
Bottom Line
Doing what we do is as much hard work as what you do. Some
of us even do it for a living. We do everything we can to
have a good time, make money for ourselves and the bar all
while trying not to get stiffed on pay or get punched by some
drunk asshole who thought we looked at his girlfriend funny.
This is in addition to the countless hours
we spend rehearsing the same songs over and over just so people
will be entertained and we will sound good. So, don't be a
dismissive schmuck. Try to have some appreciation for the
difficult job we have too, and maybe then you'll get our best
effort and our respect.
|
